FUNNY day at the pool!

This weekend was rather momentous for me for a lot of different reasons. I foresee the stories in this blog as being among the best I have written :).
It all started Saturday morning. It is super sunny season right now in CR, so it is so hot here. We went to the market first and got a bunch of fruits and vegetables which always gets me pretty worked up because everyone is offering food and saying crazy stuff and calling us queens and things like that. Given, sometimes I think the constant cat calls from slimy men are repulsive... but hey, who minds being called a queen once in a while?? :) Anyway, so then we go over to the pool. There are a series of happenings that I will try to portray as honestly as possible. First time we leave the grass to go get in the pool. Almost immediately and young guy comes over...sits very close, starts asking me all these questions. Then his friend joins. They don't stop talking. I finally ask them how old they are...12 and 14. Great, I love getting hit on by boys that are half my age and still speak in high pitched voices, but that wasn't the best part...their names were Elvis and Wolfgang. I honestly thought they were lying which is why I died with laughter when they told me. When they didn't laugh... I realized I should stop...that was honestly their names. lol I finally leave the conversation and go back to the towel. Time #2 to the pool. Elvis and Wolfgang strike again... Kate saves me, I leave. Back on my towel, I see two Ticos playing football. The one is terrible, the other not so bad. I ask if I can play because I love playing. The terrible one quits because he obviously hates football. So me and this one are playing. He's like super cool, trying to be all awesome. However, he is standing really close to this girl laying there with a really slinky bathing suit (I'm sure he didn't plan that). Anyway, I almost hit her like 5 times...but I think he enjoyed seeing her jump up every time. Well, I decide to throw it more to the left to avoid slinky bathing suit. It was a misjudge because there was a large telephone and several large metal wires coming down from it. Unfortunately this guy didn't see it and honestly plowed into the metal bars. Even funnier was the fact that there was a little bit of spring in them so he hit them going 20 miles and hour and then was catapulted back the other direction after bouncing off...and then proceeds to almost kill slinky bathing suit girl. It honestly drew blood on him. I was dying...I did not recover. It was the funniest thing I ever saw. Again I realized that he wasn't laughing...so I tried to stop. This proved impossible. This crusty old man behind me thought it was hilarious as well. We stop playing. Time #3 in the pool: old crusty man comes up to me and in English says that I should be in the NFL. I died laughing. I asked him if he liked the NFL. He said, "no, but this is my son." What?!?!?! Then I noticed his awkward, bright red son (about my age) standing next to him. LOL. "Well hello" I say. He says hi and quickly jumps in the pool. I never speak again to crusty or son of crusty. I go back a lay down. Time #4 in the pool. Two guys come over...they don't know each other. They sit unusually close to me. One tries practicing English...other speaks no English. No English guy doesn't mess around...asks all necessary questions you need to ask to get to know someone, then asks if he can rub my back. lol. I say no. English practicer is actually really nice and we have a good conversation. HOWEVER, he says, "how do you call the swimming?" I say..."swimming is the word." No its a special kind of thing in the pool. I'm really confused. He says, "you know, like poopy in the pool." What?!?! I start dying laughing. "When someone goes poopy in the pool?" I ask. He's confused now. Tries repeating. "What do you do with poopy in the pool?" I am beside myself laughing. Back rubber that doesn't speak English looks lost. I say in spanish, "why are you talking about poop in the pool?" They both get really red and embaressed. I realize they aren't talking about poo at all. He tries again..."you know, poopy." No I don't know...why are we discussing poopy. Why doesn't he just tell me in Spanish? Finally...he say in spanish...you know like swimming like a puppy dog in the pool. OHHHH. Like a dog paddle? Yesss. So we're not talking about fecal matter. Now remember this whole conversation is taking place in Spanglish...so back rubber who only speaks spanish is sitting over there SO confused because all he is hearing are an assortment of words used to describe a bowel movement. 10 minutes later, I wonder...why did we ever start talking about poopy and puppies in the pool. Elvis and Wolfgang strike again...this time with water guns. I go back to my towel and vow never to enter the pool again. English practicer then comes over. Gives me his number and tells me he couldn't avoid the question in his heart about asking me out :). He was genuinely nice though. Kate is just sitting over there cracking up. We finally get up to leave. Elvis and Wolfgang say good bye...then run over to tell their mothers that they made new friends. Awkward. Then back rubber comes over and takes advantage of the customary tico kiss on the cheek...it's a fake cheek touch buddy, no an opportunity to lay one on someone. And then we say goodbye to our practicing friend. Telephone pole man is nowhere to be found. We walk out absolutely dying laughing. I will never recover or forget that image of running into the telephone pole. Priceless.